As I lay on my bed and write this article, my brain buzzes with information from my three-hour WizardLiz YouTube marathon (just look at my screen time). Just last night, tears streamed down my face after failing yet another exam I had extensively studied for. With the help of WizardLiz and conversations with my zen and yogi brother, I realized that the exam was in the past, I was in the present, and the only way I could move forward was toward the future.
The DILEMMA:
In the past few weeks, I have failed three exams (not literally, just one, really). The illusion I came into university with has crumbled, and I can no longer attain the grades I eagerly desired at the start of the semester. I've become just another fish in a school, the average one in a thousand. In high school, I performed well on my exams and set a high standard for myself. With my past exam performances, I’ve been inclined to feel jealous—envy even—of my peers, feeling that the content is being set at a pace I can barely keep up with. But now, I don’t fear the next exam; I fear my own ability to truly understand the material. I've fallen victim to Imposter Syndrome, and it was only through my yogi brother, WizardLiz, and self-help resources that I was able to overcome it.
THE TRAP:
According to WebMD, Imposter Syndrome is when you doubt yourself and your successes. It makes you feel as if you are not as worthy or successful as others may believe.
That was the case I caught, and you might have experienced it too. Imposter Syndrome, for me, hasn’t just stemmed from my performance on exams but from my judgment in comparing myself to my peers. Here are a few examples of my thought process:
I don't understand how she does it. She barely studied!
He's just so intelligent. He thought the test was easy, while I miserably failed...
I don't understand why everyone makes fun of business students. I'm really struggling with my classes.
How will I take Financial Accounting if I'm barely scraping by in Survey of Calculus? I mean, IT'S BUSINESS CALC!
The culmination of these thoughts has led me to experience self-doubt, test performance anxiety, and envy toward my peers who can achieve what I can't. And just when I begin to fall into this vicious cycle of repetitive self-pity and loathing, I remind myself of who I am, my values, and my capabilities.
Confronting IMPOSTER SYNDROME:
If you feel you've caught the same case of Imposter Syndrome, here are a few remedies that have helped me grow out of this mindset:
Hot Girl Energy
Hot girls do not doubt themselves or overthink. Bad grade? Do something about it. Your exam is in the past, and there is physically no way you can change it now (the change score on Canva doesn't count). Sit, think, review, and understand why you failed. See if you lack understanding of the content or the application of it.
Don’t Compare Yourself to Others
Comparison is the thief of joy. Every time I've compared myself to someone in a self-deprecating way, I turn into the worst version of myself. I fall victim to jealous and envious thoughts (decreasing my aura points) and become insecure. DO NOT be like OLD ME. Be confident in your abilities and know your limits. You studied this amount? Be realistic about your score and how well you understand the content or material. Everyone has their own pace when it comes to learning and understanding content.
Prioritize Yourself and What YOU VALUE MOST
Your mental and physical health is MORE IMPORTANT than the grade you receive on a piece of paper! Every day, take time to prioritize your health—even during a heavy study week. Eat well and exercise. Don’t have time to go to the gym? Walk to your classes. Don’t have time to cook? Opt for healthy meals and snacks! It’s all about balance. Personally, after a long day of studying, I like to turn off my phone and be mindful and present in the moment, doing things that give me peace (like cleaning my room and folding my laundry).
These remedies will not only cure you, but they'll make you a hotter and smarter version of yourself (bonus aura points). Imposter Syndrome may have tricked me, but it doesn't have to fool you. And although I may fall into this mindset from time to time, it’s always important to remember the remedies above and look forward to the future rather than dwelling on the past.
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